getting started....

Hello everyone -

I am new to blogging, but excited to finally be part of it.

Gosh, what to write. This is perhaps the reason I have decided to blog. For several months (no, several years), I have been struggling with my purpose in life. What am I suppose to be doing with my life? What am I suppose to be? Who am I suppose to be?

It has really taken a toll on me and my family. I will lay awake at 2:00 in the morning searching for answers. I put demands on myself that I must figure it out. I must come up with an answer and move forward. This is how I have always run my life. I clearly define goals, timelines, and steps. I get such a feeling of joy and accomplishment as I cross off each step towards that goal. A sense of relief overcomes me. I did it. On to the next step.

But this rushing around and searching for the purpose in life has made me crazy too. I have been looking so hard that I lost track of what I was even looking for. What is the purpose of all this? Ummm? Help?

So many feelings have gone hand in hand as I have searched. Some days would be full of excitement (the chance to start something new) and other days would be full of frustration, disappointment and even anger towards myself that I could not define what I wanted. How hard can it be? Where are my dreams? What are my dreams? Are they so deeply hidden and buried that I cannot access them?

The frustration and anger wore me out. It took a toll on my body, mind, and spirit. I could not keep up with the frantic pace of searching, searching, searching.

So I finally reached rock bottom. I was physically, mentally, and spiritually exhausted. I could not go on at this pace anymore. I was not sleeping at night, I felt anxious during the day, and my energy was depleted. I reached out to a psychic/intuitive who I knew from the Chicago days and asked her for help. Please help me.

I explained to her that I had tried going back to corporate America (marketing) after taking a few years off to raise my daughters and it all came tumbling back onto me. I hated it. I dreaded going to work every day. I would come home at night and lay down on the floor and would literally have to peel myself off the floor to put my girls to bed. I was miserable. The money was great, but my soul was dying.

It took a toll on my family too. I had no energy or spirit. It had been squashed. I would drop the girls off at preschool and then drive to my office. On my way there I would scream at the top of my lungs because I did not want to go there. It was horrible. I came down with a severe case of mono and was sick all the time. This should have been a sign to me. But I thought I needed a marketing career. I had been a big time advertising/marketing executive making a six figure salary until having my first daughter. After she was born, I could not go to work. I tried for six weeks to go back, and I cried all day long. I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Something I would never had predicted.

And now we have come full circle. I now have two darling little girls, but I am ready to go back to work. I am ready to engage in something other than being a mom, a wife, a friend. But I have realized that I want it all. I want to be healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually. So this job has to be the right fit. I will not sacrifice myself again.

So here I am...deep down I know what I want to do. I want to work with people who are looking for wellness. And when I say wellness I mean in body, mind, and spirit. You need the whole package to optimize your life (something I have learned). I need to put the past behind me, let go of the marketing career and move forward.

I want to take my love for people, exercise (I am a long distance runner), diet, meditation, and positive beliefs/thoughts and turn it into a business. I see myself working with people to help them create a harmonious life of wellness.

Now, you may be wondering how I went from screaming in the car to being a wellness coach. Well, it has occured over time. I have spent a lot of time soul searching and then to confirm my beliefs (which is when I hit rock bottom - fear set in because I was so close to creating what I truly want- fear is good - means you are on target) I reached out to Sonia Choquette the psychic. She told me what I expected. Be a personal coach. Make people strong and happy. So here I am. Bringing together body, mind, and spirit. My own, and that of others.

Don't get me wrong. I am scared. This is so new for me. Taking a risk to start a business. I wonder if it will be successful? Who will my clients be? Will I have clients? Can I do this? I want guarantees, but life is not always a guarantee. I have moments of anxiety when I wonder what am I doing? Am I crazy? But wait a minute. Stop! Stop! Where will those thoughts get me. I need to stay positive and good stuff will happen. And if it does not, then I have learned and will go down a new path.

There have been a lot of hard points in my life (type 1 diabetes, infertility, job layoffs, etc.), but I am still here. I have made it through and become a stronger person. This is another exciting point in my life. Big change as I turn 40 in a few weeks. I will write more about that later.

But please stay tuned. I will post daily wellness exercises, tips, etc. as I expand this blog and expand out on social media. This is just the beginning. And I mean beginning.

So let me post this, and please come back...and write to me:)